


The most perfect wedding ever

by orphan_account



Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/M, homestuckies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-24
Updated: 2014-07-24
Packaged: 2018-02-10 07:08:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 507
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2015718
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I wrote this for my friends. Probs don't look at it, it's total crack.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The most perfect wedding ever

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this for the Homestuckies because I love them all. It's based off an art you can find here: https://31.media.tumblr.com/ed0e65aa7990d59ed65e9b5a7f84e0e2/tumblr_n95dr4EyJC1tdcgrpo1_500.png  
> Also, I'm sorry this is really bad I did it really quickly.

Brittney laid upside down on her bed, texting Jane, her best friend.  
Suddenly, Cronus burst through the door, "Hey babe."  
Brittney fell off her bed, then righted herself, awkwardly greeting, "Oh, hey, Cronus. What's up?"  
"Vwill you marry me?" He got down on one knee, producing a bottle cap glued to a plastic ring.  
"Of course!!!" Brittney hugged him, and texted Jane the news. Jane agreed to marry them, and the wedding was planned for tomorrow.  
Jane ran all the way to Vegas, where she got a certificate to marry people that was fancy enough to look real, and bought the matching dress. She also bought a book that looked like a Bible, and walked back. Halfway there, a Greyhound picked her up and she sat next to Caliborn, excitedly telling him about the wedding. He was pissed off that he wasn't invited.   
Brittney asked Vriska, Calliope, and Mituna to be her bridesmaids. She went online and ordered a $17000 dress from 6hoursbridaldress.com. It came within 6 hours, and she tried it on. It was a bit large, so Kanaya had to quickly bring the seam in. Meanwhile, Spades Slick, the flower girl, bought a ton of flowers. Sort of. He didn't actually buy them. Vriska decorated the venue, with spiderwebs of streamers everywhere.  
Cronus was busy having Diamonds Droog help him rip the sleeves off of his tux. In the next room over, Horuss was polishing the bottle cap rings, as any good ring bearer would do. The other groomsmen, Rose and Rufioh, were trying to figure out how bow ties work.   
After everything was settled, the dresses on, the bow ties tied, the ceremony started. Caliborn was hiding in the curtains behind Jane. Brittney walked down the aisle after a grumbling Slick in a pink dress, and stood in front of Cronus.  
"Okay, we need the ring bearer. Where is he?" Jane looked around. He was supposed to walk out with Spades. Horuss ran down the aisle, dropping to one knee and holding the pillow high above his head.   
The two lovers put the rings on each other, gazing into the other's eyes intently.  
Cronus smiled, and whispered, "Your eyes. Are an ocean. Your breasts. Are also an ocean."  
Brittney almost swooned right then and there.  
"Okay okay, enough boring stuff. Do you two take each other blah blah blah marry?" Jane sighed. She shouldn't have agreed to this.  
Just then, Caliborn burst out of the curtains...to be hit with a can, courtesy of the Mayor.   
He fell down, behind Jane. Nobody batted an eye.  
Brittney put her hand on Cronus's eyebrow, then dropped it to say, "I do."  
Cronus lit another cigarette, mumbling an, "I do," around the cig.  
Jane sighed, "I now pronounce you husband and wife. Hella."  
Caliborn stood up and started to walk out, sulking. Before he left the building, he turned and screamed, "I'll marry my own damn self!"   
The Mayor started to chase after him with his trusty meter stick.   
And all was well in the world.

**Author's Note:**

> I love ya'll.


End file.
